A path to failure

Going home after college is the worst mistake you can ever make. It happened to me and my life has been miserable ever since. My parents don’t really love me or want me. However, during college, they always paid my rent. Senior year, things were looking pretty grim. I was going to graduate with no job. However, I had received a $10,000 scholarship to a master’s program at Wake Forest University. Of course, my evil mother tried to stop me from going and it worked. She claimed that it was too expensive and I wasn’t interested. If you aren’t me, how do you know what I’m interested in? Also, $10,000 is a lot of money. So I didn’t go. First mistake. Also, senior year I lived in a townhouse owned by my roommate’s family. Her dad lost his job and gave me half my rent for the month of May back so he could move here for work and start living out of the townhouse. At the time, I was working in a boutique making only $8 an hour. It was not enough to support myself. Having nowhere to go, I returned to my house.

After my mom decided Wake Forest was a bust, she forced me to take more classes at UNC in the fall, which helped absolutely nothing. The next February, I started working as a tutor for $10 an hour for like three hours a week. It was still not enough to live. I applied to three more master’s programs the next summer. I got into all three but of course my mom declared New Orleans to be a cesspool. Note that she has never been to NOLA. I wanted to go to Tulane. Well, she stopped me again. She thinks anything is her decision if she pays. Fuck you. I went to Boston and shocker, I ended up hating it. I told my parents I’m failing everything and want to withdraw. Of course, they didn’t listen. Well, FYI the longer you wait to withdraw, the less tuition refund you’re going to get. Since they didn’t take me seriously, I withdrew in December getting $0 back. Meanwhile, Boston was blizzarding like 2 feet every Monday. Eventually, I found a subletter and came home again. Four months later, I found a job at a small behavioral science research firm in Scottsdale. Later I would learn that you should never move across the country for a small company. Eventually, they terminated me citing lack of cultural fit. I hated them and was planning to resign because they were always rude to me and never delegated enough tasks to me. The president was never on my side either. I didn’t pursue legal action. Maybe that was a mistake but I signed the severance and once you sign that, you agree to take no further legal action. The severance money lasted me until August. Having run out of money, my dad supported me for a while and then I decided to break the lease and go home. If you haven’t realized by now, going home is always toxic for me because of the family situation. Today, my mom told me to live on the street. So that’s how I ended up in this fucked up life.

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Author: laurrack

New to blogging! What started as a fashion blog turned into a lifestyle blog. I write about anything that I want to write about. I have lived in NC, FL, AZ, and MA.

6 thoughts on “A path to failure”

    1. Yeah, that could be true. At times, I wondered if I was adopted because people say I don’t look like my parents anyway. I have a different skin complexion and different hair. I don’t notice facial similarities either. Also somehow both my parents wear glasses and I have 20/15 vision. There could be worse parents I guess but I just wish mine were more supportive and managed their anger better. They were also way too strict which only leads kids to resent you and rebel more. Being an only child was never easy.

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    1. Really did you grow up with overprotective parents too? And are you an only child? I noticed profound differences in my mom since her mom died. She seems like perpetually unhappy. My mom will read my messages just because my laptop was left open. I was literally irate because it wasn’t an invitation to snoop. Then she called me a slut on my 25th birthday so I will never spend another birthday anywhere near home.

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  1. I don’t know what you are experiencing but I do know that I didn’t read this for no reason. I’m so sorry that you are experiencing this pain and tragic time in your life. I was laid off of my job too have severance. I haven’t found a job yet but I trust God to provide for me. I know God has a plan and a hope and future for your life. I pray that your relationship will be restored with your parents and that you will find another job soon.

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