Basically, laser hair removal is the best thing I’ve ever done for myself. So far I’ve had two treatments. First, I did my abdomen. I will be doing a second treatment on that later in April. The hair isn’t really back yet. It costs $90. I go to BodyLase Skin Spa in Cary. The second time I did $300 for one hour because it’s a better deal. That time I did lower arms, legs, toes, and the tops of my hands. I’m very hairy and used to be bullied for it. My mom disapproves of me getting laser hair removal. What doesn’t she disapprove of? I’m not going to lie the laser does hurt. The first time she did my abdomen she went all the way down to the top of where my pubic hair grows and it hurt. I also noticed that my ankles were very sensitive. The rest of the body that I did mostly just feels like air blowing on you. When you go to sensitive areas though, it feels like burning or stinging or a small zap. I am happy with the results so far and know I am saving money from shaving and waxing.
I’m not sure anyone I know has ever experienced so much hatred and bullying from other girls. And sometimes it’s from girls that I don’t even know. If I had found this Facebook message sooner, I would have immediately reported it to my school. A girl I never met accused me of stalking her boyfriend and called me ugly and a slut. I don’t understand it. But quite honestly I’m sick of all the harassment towards me on Facebook. Guys in other countries send me messages, which I also feel is inappropriate. I do not accept friend requests from people I don’t know. Also, the person who delivered my furniture messaged me on Facebook. That’s not appropriate either. It has led me to permanently delete my Facebook account.
When I lived in Boston, there were four guys who lived above us. I had the neighbor’s phone numbers and was trying to be friends with them. The neighbor’s girlfriend then texted me from his phone and called me a slut and asked me what I was trying to accomplish. It was really disturbing. I don’t ever approve of girls texting someone else from their boyfriend’s phones. It’s crazy and if you have an issue with your boyfriend being friends with neighbors downstairs, then you clearly have an issue. However, that’s not the only time this happened to me either.
I have been friends with a guy named Steve for a long time, since freshman year of college. Steve’s girlfriend also felt the need to text me from Steve’s phone. She told me that I clearly needed someone to confide in and Steve would never be that for me. Not wanting to deal with this type of harassment, I removed Steve from all social media, Snapchat, Facebook, and Instagram. That girl destroyed my friendship. I don’t even think he knows she sent that message to me. I’ve never met her and never want to. Thankfully, they broke up and I was able to become friends with Steve again. He told me she was crazy but he realized it too late. I really do believe girls need to stop this behavior. If you have a problem with your boyfriend being friends with other girls, then you need to take it up with him not text other girls from his phone. Also, just because a girl is friends with a guy does not mean that she wants to date him. I was never attracted to any of these guys with crazy girlfriends. I’m so sick of how people treat me. I am an innocent person not trying to steal your boyfriend. Jesus.
As I already mentioned, I’m not a family person. I have good reasons for this if you read my earlier posts. Sorry but my mom cannot cook. Every holiday, I always want to go to brunch at the country club but my mom never wants to go. Instead, she would rather eat carbs and overcooked meat. The food is so bad that I would rather starve. And since she’s always calling me fat, it seems like I shouldn’t be eating carbs anyway. Happy fucking Easter I guess. It’s also raining outside and you know how much I HATE precipitation of any kind. She also wants to make cookies or cake. I don’t want that shit!
Going home after college is the worst mistake you can ever make. It happened to me and my life has been miserable ever since. My parents don’t really love me or want me. However, during college, they always paid my rent. Senior year, things were looking pretty grim. I was going to graduate with no job. However, I had received a $10,000 scholarship to a master’s program at Wake Forest University. Of course, my evil mother tried to stop me from going and it worked. She claimed that it was too expensive and I wasn’t interested. If you aren’t me, how do you know what I’m interested in? Also, $10,000 is a lot of money. So I didn’t go. First mistake. Also, senior year I lived in a townhouse owned by my roommate’s family. Her dad lost his job and gave me half my rent for the month of May back so he could move here for work and start living out of the townhouse. At the time, I was working in a boutique making only $8 an hour. It was not enough to support myself. Having nowhere to go, I returned to my house.
After my mom decided Wake Forest was a bust, she forced me to take more classes at UNC in the fall, which helped absolutely nothing. The next February, I started working as a tutor for $10 an hour for like three hours a week. It was still not enough to live. I applied to three more master’s programs the next summer. I got into all three but of course my mom declared New Orleans to be a cesspool. Note that she has never been to NOLA. I wanted to go to Tulane. Well, she stopped me again. She thinks anything is her decision if she pays. Fuck you. I went to Boston and shocker, I ended up hating it. I told my parents I’m failing everything and want to withdraw. Of course, they didn’t listen. Well, FYI the longer you wait to withdraw, the less tuition refund you’re going to get. Since they didn’t take me seriously, I withdrew in December getting $0 back. Meanwhile, Boston was blizzarding like 2 feet every Monday. Eventually, I found a subletter and came home again. Four months later, I found a job at a small behavioral science research firm in Scottsdale. Later I would learn that you should never move across the country for a small company. Eventually, they terminated me citing lack of cultural fit. I hated them and was planning to resign because they were always rude to me and never delegated enough tasks to me. The president was never on my side either. I didn’t pursue legal action. Maybe that was a mistake but I signed the severance and once you sign that, you agree to take no further legal action. The severance money lasted me until August. Having run out of money, my dad supported me for a while and then I decided to break the lease and go home. If you haven’t realized by now, going home is always toxic for me because of the family situation. Today, my mom told me to live on the street. So that’s how I ended up in this fucked up life.
Yesterday, I went to the dentist to get Invisalign. They had $750 off special this month so I hopped on that. Unfortunately, it would have been better for me to get this 3 years ago because insurance would have covered more. Also, most people pay Invisalign out of pocket. I found out that since my insurance expires in January, they will likely not continue covering treatment that was started before then. There are ways to pay for Invisalign though. I ended up applying for Care Credit and was approved for a $3700 credit line. My Invisalign was expected to cost $4700 without the insurance contribution. The office manager said that $500-$800 will probably be paid by my insurance. Including the special, that means I would still owe $3000. Monthly payments over 24 months are $131. Not knowing what to do, I ended up deciding to get the impressions done. They cost $250 and it’s non-refundable. I’m so poor that I had to pay it on two different cards. I never had braces when I was younger and really regret that. But my teeth are awful and I expect to get a good result with Invisalign. I haven’t received my treatment plan yet. The dentist has to send the impression to Invisalign. I should be going back in a few weeks to start treatment once Invisalign sends back the claim. I am excited. I expect my confidence to improve with straight teeth! I’ll post more when I go back to my dentist in a few weeks. By the way, the Invisalign consultation is free if you’re considering it.
Yesterday, I received the unfortunate news that UNC has decided to reject me yet again. It was both shocking and somewhat unexpected. On Friday, I had an admissions interview with the UNC Master of Accounting program, which brands itself as being top 10 in the country and having a 99 percent job placement rate. On Monday, exactly one day later, UNC had already decided that I was not worth of admission. It is common for people to call to find out why they’ve been rejected. However, my interviewer was not receptive to my call and did not provide constructive feedback. She tried to dismiss my questions by saying my score was lower than other people. This could quite possibly be true but 81st percentile on GRE is solid and she said on Friday that my score was good. Throughout the interview, she kept saying I’m smart. Yesterday, she lamented that I’m not what employers are looking for. That doesn’t really make sense because I’ve never met any of their employers. Frankly, if I was not a good fit, then I never should have been interviewed. She said they are trying to build their class and most people would just be grateful for the opportunity. I sent her a thank you email that was never even acknowledged. They even made a new deadline when they could have accepted me. Earlier in the year, I was rejected from Vanderbilt. At least Vanderbilt gave the decision months after I submitted my application and provided tangible feedback. Vanderbilt said that my scores were lower than those who were admitted, my recommendations were not recent enough, and my GPA was good but not great. While it sucks to hear all these things, at least two out of those three were things that I could do something about. Also, accounting doesn’t seem like a very good profession to me. So I’m starting to care less. Another thing is that University of Michigan and UT Austin have better accounting programs. However, theirs require prerequisites. Most accounting programs will require financial and managerial accounting, statistics, and micro and macroeconomics. I took econ and statistics but I don’t really care about taking financial or managerial accounting ever. Another turn off was that the interviewer made it seem like the program would limit where students could get jobs. All the Big 4 recruit at top accounting programs and that’s not really a differentiator of UNC. However, she told me that most UNC students end up in Charlotte, Raleigh, or Atlanta . I don’t want to stay in NC after living here for at least 20 years. The only states I want to live in are TX, FL, AZ, CA. So if you’re considering a master’s program, it’s important to look at where students get jobs. UT Austin, most of them will get jobs in TX. At USC Marshall, most students will get jobs in Cali. If was seriously interested in accounting, then I would be taking those prereqs and probably applying to USC and UT.
I grew up with a bad mother. I just typed a long post but then it disappeared. My mother is the worst person I know. She’s always yelling at me so it’s impossible to love her. I try to avoid any interaction with her. She acts like a self-righteous bitch 24/7. Always complains about everything in restaurants from the service to the food. Other people have told me she is rude and I would have to agree. Today she told me that she would slap me if she could. Good luck, I’m five inches taller and a lot stronger. She always tells me I’m heavy but she’s the one with a 27 BMI. That’s overweight. Then she yells at me for buying bananas and proceeds to eat donuts or soda and complains about her weight. I refuse to listen to people who complain about being fat and eat junk food and live a sedentary life. She does both. I cannot stand this woman. I stopped attending family gatherings years ago. Last year, I was forced to go to my grandmother’s funeral against my will. Perhaps my grandmother’s passing is what made my mom this way but she has acted this way my whole life long before my grandmother died. It makes me wonder if my grandmother abused her for her to act this way. Most of the time, I try to ignore her. She completely invades my privacy snooping around in my laptop and then says that my laptop spoke to her. I changed all of my passwords but my whole life it’s been like her trying to wield some kind of power or control over me. No one is meant to be controlled. She takes worrying to an extreme and definitely has OCD and anxiety. She refuses to get treatment but she should because it clearly strains her relationships with other people. She is neither my role model nor my best friend. The only solution I see is to stop contacting her at all. I have to get away somehow from all her drama and instigation.